Love that calls for love

“I still don’t understand what the phrase the ‘will of God’ means. I don’t believe that sufferings come from God. Is it really the will of God when we experience illnesses, or an accident? Yet God doesn’t want sickness or accidents. He has a good design for each of us and he uses each event and every occasion for us to realize his design for us. Isn’t it so?

- Rose

At times we may use certain expressions without really understanding their meaning. The deepest risk is that we tend to think about the “will of God” as something that God decides upon and then asks us to accept, putting us to the test or on trial. But this cannot be what Jesus means when he invites us to pray: “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” What the Father in heaven wishes for us is none other than the fullness of life that he wants to share with us! When the Gospel, in the case of Jesus, speaks of a cup that comes from the hands of God, it doesn’t intend something that his Father has invented and then imposes on Jesus, but rather a reality or situation that others have created and from which his Father invites him not to withdraw but to accept and undergo.

It is not entirely correct either to say that God knows how to exploit or use the situation: rather, it is really in these situations that the strength of love is revealed (and love in its fullness, is none other than God himself).

To say to God, “I come to do your will,” even in a situation of failure or tragedy, is to allow triumphant love to become the true renewing power of our personal existence and of the history of humanity.

I recently came across a thought of the late Bishop Klaus Hemmerle: “The will of God, in as much as he wants something for us, is always and only this: it is love that calls for love.” It is not so much our having to adjust to a will which is forced upon us by another, but rather, we are invited to gather and to cherish this will of love inside of us, so as to effect change in all things and in everything we do.

Tonino Gandolfo

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Looking beyond mischief

"Our 16 year-old daughter has stolen a small amount of money from the house. She denies it and reacts strongly when we bring up the topic. Is it better to just ignore what has happened?"
- A.L.

Dialogue with one’s children is essential. Thus it’s better to avoid interrogations because they often become monologues when one feels his trust has been betrayed. If your daughter denies having stolen something, it is better to set aside that fact and to talk about other topics, in order to avoid creating a “wall against another wall.” There is a secret need for your daughter to be understood and to understand others, typical of all adolescents. It may not show outwardly, because of her other feelings like shame, anger, and personal fears.

Here is a good opportunity for you to show real concern and love for her. If, out of love, we let go of our displeasure, she will experience the joy of having been forgiven. With more detachment and spending more time together (doing other thing, for example like going on a picnic, or for a movie together or other creative moments of quality time which is up to you as parents), it will be easier for you to understand the reasons for her behavior, reasons which at the start may seem incomprehensible to you.

It’s a way of “making ourselves one,” with your daughter. Of course, this is not an easy thing and it means going out of our own “world” to understand the world of teenagers today. And through what has happened, we can then try to understand our children’s need to be loved and to love in return.

Offer her the chance to do something beautiful for her family. Show her your admiration and respect for something that she has done or is already doing for her siblings and friends. She will thus acquire new strength and confidence to be herself again, even while she is searching for her own independence.

Maddalena Triggiano Petrillo

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