21st of September 2000, Fr. Joel took to heart these things: as a priest, to be always a joy to God, a gift to the Church, faithful to the priesthood that he had received, and a servant of God’s love.

Then as a priest living the spirituality of unity, he heeded the words of St.

John’s Gospel: “And from that moment on, the disciple took Mary into his own home” (John 19:27). He tried his best to live such a life by living the Marian priesthood, to generate the presence of Christ always in his community After his ordination, he was offered numerous gifts of money, new clothes and vestments. Realizing that he could not use them all, he considered who was really in need and he shared with other priests who needed liturgical vestments.

Poor people were also asking help from him and without much hesitation, he shared with them those new clothes and money that he had received.

As his parish community was planning to build a church, he formed a construction committee to oversee the plans and construction details. The committee was composed of people with various kinds of expertise—each one with his own idea of how the church should look like. At first, it was so difficult to reconcile all the suggestions put forward. There were a number of heated discussions. In fact, the first two architectural designs that had been submitted were both rejected.

At a certain point, he challenged the group to make a real home for Jesus, and to come together as people ready to give up everything so that they could themselves first be a ready dwelling place for God. So they started by first setting aside their discussions and plans.

Instead they spent many moments eating together, sharing simple stories with one another, and reflecting on the dreams they had about their parish. After they had assured each other of their readiness to listen to one another, and put aside their own plans and ideas, soon they came up with a beautiful design for the church. After the plan was presented to the parishioners, everyone became so enthusiastic about building the church.

Fr. Joel shares, “The experience of so many parishioners who helped raise funds have given us all a stronger sense of being Church, because of our communion with one another.” A Moment of Hospitalization A few years back, Fr. Joel was hospitalized because of typhoid fever and dehydration. While they treated him for these illnesses, the doctors also found that he was suffering from diabetes and heart problems. The doctors told him that he could have contacted it even ten years back, but he simply did not know it. Since then, he had to follow a strict diet and be careful about many things in terms of health. It was not easy for him because he had been used to a certain lifestyle.

After just a month and a half, he was re-admitted to the hospital because of a wound on his left foot which continued to bleed. While examining him, the doctors explained the procedures they were going to perform and the consequences – one of which was the big possibility of his foot being amputated because of the gangrene that had already set in. In the hospital, the doctors first prepared him for everything, but he felt so frightened and alone at that time. Even if they had helped him understand the procedures and the three times that he had to be operated on, he was still confused and understood so little. He was even irritated when he had to be assisted by his mother and nurses for simple things, like changing his clothes or going to the bathroom.

Fr. Joel recalls, “This experience brought me to a very deep examination of myself. Then I discovered answers that once again humbled me. When I was in darkness and confusion, it was like God telling me that I had trusted too much in my own capacity and strength – that I had relied on my ideas of perfection and ability to understand everything.

More than the physical suffering that I underwent, it was the experience of dying to myself and letting go of myself that broke me to pieces. Again and again, I had previously declared that I chosen God as my all and only good. But at the same time, I had trusted too much on myself and left so little room for God in my life.” Painfully, Fr. Joel realized how proud he had become by relying on himself too much. He adds, “God, through my doctors, was telling me that I could not be in control of my life forever. God, through my mother and friends who assisted me, made me aware that I had to concretely hold on to him alone.

Through this sickness, he was showing me that he was the one to whom I should turn.” He understood once again what it meant to choose God as the only reason for his life. He became less irritated about the inconveniences that came up, and even welcomed the doctor’s recommendations, and opened himself up with trust in God to all the consequences of his sickness.

In the end, things turned out well. The operation helped him save his foot from amputation. He also realized the great love God has for him.

The Priests’ School in Loppiano, Italy After eight years as a priest, he decided to deepen his formation – to rediscover the real call of God in his life. Thus he took part in a special formation course for priests, deacons and seminarians offered by the Focolare in Loppiano, Italy.

In that school of communion, he learned to live the call to “die” to himself and live communion to the full. He shares an experience: “Once when planning our weekend outing, our group was discussing where to go for a weekend. I insisted on a particular place that interested me and that I would have loved to see. But the other members of the group had another spot in mind which I found boring and too “spiritual”, so I did not like it at that time. Deep inside, I was rebelling at the idea and even thought of an excuse not to join the outing. But again, I realized that it was not the place that mattered, but the unity I succeeded in establishing with my companions. I let go of a personal desire and discovered that the place we went to was full of life. Not only were we able to say Mass at the sanctuary of a great saint, but I also felt spiritually re-charged by that environment and the moments we had spent together as a group.” In that school, they had daily moments of meditation. One day, they meditated on giving everything to Jesus.

This struck him very deeply. He asked himself as the disciples did in the Gospel of Matthew, “We have left everything to follow You. What then will there be for me?” (Mt. 19,27). He then realized, “When I decided to come to this school, I knew that it would mean leaving behind many things, people and experiences that I had grown accustomed to. I had left behind many priestly assignments which I had grown to love in my work and ministry. At first, I expected some compensation for all that I had left behind, because I really had to give up many things (thus I thought I deserved compensation). I even felt that I had given so much that I began to consider many experiences as difficulties, instead of challenges and moments of God.

But I realized like Peter and the other disciples, that there was no need to seek for anything else. I knew I must only have a desire for God, to fill up whatever emptiness that I was experiencing. It was not easy because I am influenced at times by my emotions. I still desire to make up for what I have left behind. But I have also realized that the possibility of experiencing the Divine is a much better option. Thus, I have been challenged to go beyond myself and look for God as my only good. This is what matters in my life all the more today.” He concludes, “What have I rediscovered in my life as a priest? That my experiences of the priesthood can be experiences of the Divine but lived in the most normal and ordinary circumstances of life – whenever I pray, when I play, when I read a book or watch a film, during moments spent with others, performing the sacraments for the people whom I share my life with, these and a thousand more experiences render my life as a priest significant. Because of this, I have found more meaning in the priesthood, because priesthood in itself is not the end of my life but it’s God who’s the goal, God whom I choose daily and who fills up the emptiness in me. For all of these reasons, I will forever be thankful to God for this spirituality of unity.”

Jay Amdi