Raymund Estrada from Tacloban City, Leyte met the Focolare in February 1996 through his brother and a schoolmate, who had invited him to a weekly meeting of the youth living the life of unity. What struck him about those young people was the sincerity of their smiles and their relationships. There was such a family atmosphere among them. He recalls, “For me, it was something new to hear a group of young people talking about love in a different way.Their life captivated me.”

From those meetings, he learned how with a simple act of love, we can at times even resolve big problems. Soon after, he found himself attending every activity, especially those activities in preparation for the visit of Chiara Lubich (the Focolare’s foundress) to the Philippines back in 1997. But at the height of all those preparations, suddenly, he felt an acute pain and was rushed to the hospital.

He shares, “My appendix had already ruptured. The numbness in my body was tearing me up and I thought that would be the end of me. While in bed, I turned in prayer to the Blessed Mother to help me.

Then, I surrendered myself to Jesus, telling him “Jesus, I thought I would still be able to meet Chiara, but I guess you want me to meet someone else—you wanted me to see You! It was Christmas Eve, and the hospital’s doctors and nurses were busy preparing for their “Noche Buena” (a feast where the family gathers together after the Christmas vigil mass of the 24th).” He recounts, “That night I prayed the “Our Father” and after uttering, “Thy will be done, Lord” in an act of selfsurrender, I fell asleep. When, I woke up, still groggy, I saw a crucifix in a corner and beside it was a clock whose hands pointed to 12 midnight. I said “Happy Birthday Jesus”, then wished the attending nurse a “Merry Christmas“.

I was happy because I had a gift for Jesus’ birthday. I was thankful that God had granted me the grace to share in his suffering on the cross on Christmas day.” He continues, “I shared my experience with Chiara in a letter since I had missed seeing her. And she replied, encouraging me to live this Gospel phrase as a program for my life, “Not my will but your will be done.” She invited me to love Jesus crucified and forsaken whenever a suffering comes, at once and with joy. It was really a big blessing to receive such a letter from her even if I did not see her during her Philippine visit in 1997.” After college graduation, Raymund threw himself into his work at the Social Welfare Department. He traveled to poor villages, but was well aware that it was the immense love of God for him that was leading him to share this love with others.

Later, he started to feel the call to give himself entirely to God by following Chiara in the Focolare. But initially he kept the desire to himself and pursued his career as a young professional.

He also became quite busy with dancing, especially cultural dances, as he joined a dance company traveling to Europe and Asia to present Filipino cultural and indigenous dances. He narrates, “I love dancing and this is one of the reasons why at times I could not attend meetings and big gatherings of the Focolare—notwithstanding my desire to be with them. I was assailed at times by doubts, spiritual aridity, and moments of confusions. Nevertheless, the encouragement of Chiara to me to go ahead in loving Jesus on the cross and forsaken really helped me to transform every suffering into love.” Being caught up with his dancing career, he imagined this was really going to be his life, for he was so sure he could live the life of unity in his professional dancing career.

He shares, “I could always feel His strong presence when I was dancing as I would tell Jesus before going up on stage: ‘Jesus, dance with me. Let me borrow your feet and hands to execute the dance well, lend me your mind to have a sharp memory but above all; let me not exist as you will be the one to dance in me, to manifest yourself to the people…’ ” After some time, he realized that he had to be more detached from his passion, for it was becoming a “god” for him and the very love of his life. Yet, the only way for him to leave the dance company was to change cities as his dance group would always ask him to perform at big events, locally and internationally. He found it difficult to say “no” to them, as he was so immersed in the urban life. Thus, he left his life as a professional dancer for some time.

Then, while searching for another job, he ended up working for a call center which offered a good pay, although that was a tough job.

After a couple of months, he realized that this was not the life he wanted. Upon reflecting one day, he recalled his desire to follow God in the life of the Focolare.

At times, he couldn’t believe such a call was bothering him, because he felt unworthy of such a vocation, as he came from a rather secular background. He admits, “For me it was always a dream because I am not as good as the others.

But a certain point, the call of Jesus to follow him really became very strong, so much so that I had to make a radical step to really choose him.” So, after a year of living his own life, he got in touch with the Focolare Movement again. This helped him find serenity and peace, and discover the joy that he has always longed for. He felt so sure about giving himself to Jesus.

He recounts, “This time the call was more insistent, I could hear him even in the middle of my work. I would have to leave work in a haze, perturbed by the voice that was telling me: “You have found him, what else do you ask?” Sharing with a friend who was also living this life of unity about a possible call from God, he was told to entrust everything to God. Still doubtful, he asked his friend, “Will people believe me?” considering that he came from a worldly background. He added, “They might just think I’m crazy!”

However, since he felt the call so strongly, after consulting his friends who were living this life, he resigned from work. He recalls, “That day I submitted my resignation, I went somewhere to think about what I had just done and given up. There, I felt I was no longer of this “world,” because God wanted me to be his own. I thanked Him for this grace, for he had accepted me and called me to follow him. I walked through busy urban streets and I saw drug addiction and prostitution. I told myself that God must be preparing me for something. Whatever it was, I did not know yet. What I was certain of is that Jesus is merciful and that his immense love is for everyone. No one could stop me from loving.”

As a consequence of this choice, he spent some months in Mariapolis Peace in Tagaytay to practice the life of unity and communion together with other youths from the Philippines and Asia who had made this same choice to live for God.

He recounts, “In Mariapolis Peace, I understood how Jesus was asking me to be a brother to the person next to me, to feel the pain that they were feeling, to share the joy, and to listen to the experiences, of others, to be Mary to someone who was sick, and to reciprocate the simple acts of love that they were sharing. I understood that together we could live the life of love of the Holy Trinity, in this new family that God had given me.” It was not all easy going. There were also many difficulties, but, everyday he would always entrust everything to Jesus in the Holy Eucharist, as he came to recognize and love more the different faces of Jesus Forsaken who is the key to unity.

One time a friend confided that he had a problem about some persons he hated and asked Raymund’s advice.

Without hesitation, he listened and told this friend how difficult it was to be imprisoned by anger. He shared his own experiences on how he had struggled to see another person with new eyes and told him how the Gospel had helped him in dealing with problems. He never thought he had sounded arrogant to this friend.

The next time they met though, his friend no longer responded to his greeting. When asked the reason why, he merely said that Raymund had been arrogant. However, every day, Raymund continued to greet him with a smile, although the latter would just respond with a sharp stare. Some friends noticed their cold relationship, but Raymund told them he wouldn’t give up.

Then one day, as it was his friend’s birthday, Raymund offered him a new shirt and apologized for anything he had done that might have hurt him. He recalls, “I thought he would just ignore the gift, but to my surprise my friend accepted it and explained how he was sorry too. I was happy because I was able to re-establish the relationship with him.”

He continued to live the life of the Gospel in unity with others in Mariapolis Peace, Tagaytay. Each day he would offer everything to Jesus surrendering to him his failures, fears, and joys. Since he was good at dancing, he now had the opportunity to choreograph some dances for a cultural program with the new Focolare President Maria “Emmaus” Voce who visited Tagaytay last January 2010.

Raymund recounts, “There were tiring moments for conceptualization and practices that tested our patience.” He was aiming for perfection for the dances but also thankful for the reminder that what mattered was not how good their dancing was, but how they practiced the life of unity. So he realized that Jesus in their midst would be the best gift to Emmaus. Happily, he admits, “We reaped the fruits after our performance, when many expressed appreciation for what we did. It was the fruit of mutual love. Everyone had contributed to its success. Some gave their full attention during practices, others gave up their fear of not going to sleep on time, while several had to sacrifice an early rest, and a few offered their sickness. I remembered teaching the dance even though I had a toothache one day, but then I was happy to offer simple things for the benefit of many. Those sufferings that we offered made the show a real fruit of love and communion.”

He concludes, “Living this way of life has helped me discover the true passion of my life. It has convinced me to love Jesus more and more; to be of service to Mary and to imitate her in giving birth to Jesus in every person. No longer timid about expressing my desire to love, I have found his encouragement within me. I have seen that this life brings with it a fullness of joy. I know, this is just the first step in offering myself to follow Jesus in the Focolare, and more steps lie ahead. I only have to follow him and be an instrument in bringing his love to every person I meet. Every day now, I renew my commitment to Jesus especially that “Yes” which I once said to him. I believe that with his presence among us, when we are united, he will light up my path. Now, I’m no longer afraid, because if I live for the forsaken Jesus, ‘even the cross becomes a song.’ All I need to do is to entrust everything to him.”

Jose Aranas