A family of families

   Married 12 years, Manny and Joria Gacayan have two children. “Some time ago,” Joria say, “Manny started to become impatient and short-tempered because of one of his relatives’ difficult situation. I felt chaos engulfing our family. Fortunately for us, Manny and I kept our lines of communication open and there was constant dialogue between us. Because of this, we tried to be more patient with each other, with our son, and with everything happening around us. We would look at each other at the end of the day and strive to start again to love everyone. We knew that God loved us so much and this was His way of telling us to hold on and to trust only in His love.

   It’s true. When God enters a family, and reciprocal love becomes the norm, everything changes. This has been the experience of thousands of families around the world who have come in contact with the Focolare spirituality. And it’s been the same in the Philippines. After all, the family is the real backbone of Filipino culture, with no “if’s” or “but’s.”
   This is probably why since the arrival of the first focolarinos, entire families have started living the spirituality of unity. Milagracia Samson met the Focolare in 1984 when two focolarinas came to Davao. At that time she was experiencing some difficulties in her life. After that first meeting, other gatherings followed. “This way of looking at my neighbors, seeing Jesus in them, especially in my family, changed my whole life. I have a strong character, but in trying to love others, I sort of mellowed down. Yet I didn’t say anything. My husband became curious about my behavior, and wanted to know what had happened to me. Still I felt I had to love first in deeds, not in words, and so I didn’t explain much. He became furious and I finally invited him to a Focolare meeting. The children came along too, and now we are all trying to live unity in our family.”

   Living this way can be difficult, even though the family is supposed to be the place where love reigns. So these couples often meet together to help one another. “Once we talk about budgeting,” says Arnel, who is married to Anniefe. “Before, we would buy items we didn’t need. Between me and Anniefe, I am always the one who says yes, yes, and she is the controller. But we understood that since marriage is a partnership, husband and wife should both be involved in budgeting. We tried to live this at once. The Secretary of Finance coordinates with the Commander in Chief… declaring that all expenses should be within the agreed upon budget and a certain amount of savings should be left for contingencies. Now we ask ourselves these questions before any expenditure: Do we really need it? Is it a good buy? If this is more of a want rather than a need, do we have extra money? This contributes very much to build the presence of Jesus in our midst, thanks to the support and advice of other families in the movement. Then when we fail, we are ready to rise up again to continue the life of unity and love.”